Look, Kenny, I know you're about fifty pounds overweight, but when I say hurry, please interpret that as MOVE YOUR FAT TUB OF LARD ASS NOW!


Needy Lesnicky: I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check: I go both ways.

Barnabas Collins: Tell me, future dweller, what is the year?
Willie Loomis: 1972.

[when approaching a slaughterhouse] What's that stench?


Needy Lesnicky: Jennifer's evil.
Chip Dove: I know.
Needy Lesnicky: No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.

I can handle a sick old woman!

Lila Crane

A boy's best friend is his mother.

Norman Bates

Does it hurt to be dead?

Jake Witzky

Dirty night.

Norman Bates

Let's get this party started!


We can't bury Shelly. S-She's a friend of ours.


Ellie: I don't see a way out of this.
Jessica: Well maybe there is.

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