Did you know a young boy drowned the year before those two others were killed? The counselors weren't paying any attention... They were making love while that young boy drowned. His name was Jason. I was working the day that it happened. Preparing meals... here. I was the cook. Jason should've been watched. Every minute. He was - he wasn't a very good swimmer. We can go now, dear.

Pamela Voorhees

Surprise. Surprise. Someone dies and Gale comes running.

Dewey

Lisa: So, she's six weeks pregnant. That means the baby's due in... April, May... June. Gemini. That's cool. Einstein was a Gemini. So's that Scottish gal from Garbage.
Tom Witzky: Will you go help Jake with his pajamas?
Lisa: If she's late...
Tom Witzky: Lisa, I swear to God, start with the Dionne Warwick stuff and I'll throw you out of the fuckin' window, so please help him with the pajamas.
Lisa: Love you, too, Tom.

That's right... who's laughing now... who's laughing now?

Ash

Marion Crane: Wouldn't it be better if you put her... someplace.
Norman Bates: You mean an institution? A madhouse?
Marion Crane: No, I didn't mean it like...
Norman Bates: [suddenly angry] People always call a madhouse "someplace", don't they? "Put her in someplace."
Marion Crane: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so uncaring.
Norman Bates: What do you know about caring? Have you ever seen the inside of one of those places? The laughing, and the tears, and those cruel eyes studying you? My mother there?
[subdued tone]
Norman Bates: Oh, but she's harmless. She's as harmless as one of those stuffed birds.
Marion Crane: I tried to mean well.
Norman Bates: People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues, and shake their heads and suggest, oh, so very delicately.

Psychos can't kill what they can't find.

Sidney

Master Vampire: I have been waiting and eternity for a man of your strength to arrive. But what kind of man crawls into his own grave in search of hope?
Vlad Tepes: A desperate one.

Hey, hey, Terminal Entertainment? This is a crime scene, all right?

Detective Wallace

Three years ago... a high school teacher got obsessed with a female student... He went psycho!... He's been in a maximum security prision until three days ago.

Officer Shawn

My family's always been in meat.

Hitchhiker

[having seen a snuff movie] At least they could've provided us with a little bit of porn.

David Fox

Tommy Doyle: Laurie, what's the boogeyman?
Laurie: There's no such thing.

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