Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.
Witch, you cursed me to be this hideous creature! You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!Barnabas Collins
Barnabas Collins: Tell me, future dweller, what is the year?
Willie Loomis: 1972.
Every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk.Dr. Julia Hoffman
Welcome to Collinwood. You'll have to imagine us on a better day.Roger Collins
[seeing Alice Cooper] Ugliest woman I've ever seen.Barnabas Collins
If I can't have you, I'll destroy you and your family!Angelique Bouchard
Burn, baby, burn!Angelique Bouchard
I shall restore the family business to its former glory.Barnabas Collins
My name is Barnabas Collins. Two centuries ago, I made Collinwood my home... until a jealous witch cursed me, condemning me to the shadows, for all time.Barnabas Collins
Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty: Hey, shush, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.
He's got a husband bulge.Marty