Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.

Witch, you cursed me to be this hideous creature! You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!

Barnabas Collins

Barnabas Collins: Tell me, future dweller, what is the year?
Willie Loomis: 1972.

Every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk.

Dr. Julia Hoffman

Welcome to Collinwood. You'll have to imagine us on a better day.

Roger Collins

[seeing Alice Cooper] Ugliest woman I've ever seen.

Barnabas Collins

If I can't have you, I'll destroy you and your family!

Angelique Bouchard

Burn, baby, burn!

Angelique Bouchard

I shall restore the family business to its former glory.

Barnabas Collins

My name is Barnabas Collins. Two centuries ago, I made Collinwood my home... until a jealous witch cursed me, condemning me to the shadows, for all time.

Barnabas Collins

Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty: Hey, shush, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.

He's got a husband bulge.

Marty

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