I have to crack this guy. I mean this is Defcon 5, and I have to do something truly appalling. It's not funny.


[while performing] Girls, tell me something... Are these pants a bit too tight?

Alex Fletcher

Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.


Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my...
Michelle Rubin: Penis?
Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!

You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.


You make me sick. Stay away from me, stay away from sister or I'll have you fired.


No, I mean the way he saved her. I mean, I... I could never do anything like that. That was somethin'. The reason people treat me like I'm nothin' is 'cause I'm nothin'.


You gotta be rich to be insane, Hol. Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class.

Sharon McCarthy

[knowing that Holly is angry with him] Are you going to make me sleep in the tub again?

Gerry Kennedy

Daniel Connelly: What do women want?
Holly Kennedy: [whispering] We have no idea what we want.
Daniel Connelly: I knew it!

Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want.
Ben: Like, shoes?

That's what I'm talking about. Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be a serious journalist? You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a frickin' one woman circus.


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