I have to crack this guy. I mean this is Defcon 5, and I have to do something truly appalling. It's not funny.

Andie

Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.

Tony

Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my...
Michelle Rubin: Penis?
Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!

You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.

Ben

[while performing] Girls, tell me something... Are these pants a bit too tight?

Alex Fletcher

You make me sick. Stay away from me, stay away from sister or I'll have you fired.

Baby

[knowing that Holly is angry with him] Are you going to make me sleep in the tub again?

Gerry Kennedy

Daniel Connelly: What do women want?
Holly Kennedy: [whispering] We have no idea what we want.
Daniel Connelly: I knew it!

That's what I'm talking about. Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be a serious journalist? You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a frickin' one woman circus.

Ben

Holly Kennedy: What if this is it, Gerry? What if this is all there is to our life? You have to have a plan. Why do I have to be the responsible grown up who worries? Why can't I be the cute, carefree Irish guy who sings all the time?
Gerry Kennedy: Because you can't sing without making dogs bark?

Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?
Ben: Who's Princess Sophia?
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: Little, big, little, big... I don't know... we will find out!
Ben: You can't name my member... Princess Sophia.
Andie: Yes, I can!
Ben: If you are gonna name my... member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!

so, are you a bitch or a butch?

Sam

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