Père Henri: [hearing confession] What else?
Guillaume Blerot: Impure thoughts. The woman who runs the chocolaterie...
Père Henri: Vianne Rocher?
Guillaume Blerot: She suggested I buy chocolate sea shells for the widow Audel. And, well... I guess that got me to thinking, about the widow Audel.
Père Henri: At her age? At *your* age?
Guillaume Blerot: Yes, and yes.

Armande Voizin: Your cinnamon looks rancid.
Vianne Rocher: It's not cinnamon, it's a special kind of chili pepper.
Armande Voizin: Chili pepper in hot chocolate?
Vianne Rocher: Mm-hm. It'll give you a lift.

Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?
Ben: Who's Princess Sophia?
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: Little, big, little, big... I don't know... we will find out!
Ben: You can't name my member... Princess Sophia.
Andie: Yes, I can!
Ben: If you are gonna name my... member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!

Vianne Rocher: And these are for your husband. Unrefined cacao nips from Guatemala, to awaken the passions.
Yvette Marceau: Psshh. You've obviously never met my husband.
Vianne Rocher: Well, you've obviously never tried these.

Yvette Marceau: Do you have more of those bean thingies, please?
Vianne Rocher: Oh, sure. Um... How many do you want?
Yvette Marceau: How many have you got?

Caroline Clairmont: I suppose it can't be easy, having her gone.
Comte de Reynaud: I can't seem to get used to it, no matter how much time...
[forced cheerfulness]
Comte de Reynaud: But, I look forward to her return.
Caroline Clairmont: [gently] I don't believe anyone would think less of you if you were to say she was never coming back.

so, are you a bitch or a butch?


Roux: How's the door?
Vianne Rocher: It squeaks.
Roux: Does it?

Johnny: What's your real name, Baby?
Baby: Frances. For the first woman in the cabinet.
Johnny: Frances. That's a real grown up name.

Do I want to speak of the miracle of our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about his divinity. I'd rather talk about his humanity. I mean, you know, how he lived his life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, his *tolerance*... Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around... measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think... we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create... and who we include.

Père Henri

Vianne Rocher: What do you see?
Armande Voizin: Not a damned thing.
Vianne Rocher: Come on, it's a game. What do you see?
Armande Voizin: I see a cranky old woman too tired to play games.
Vianne Rocher: Oh. I've got just the thing for you.

Serge: We are still married, in the eyes of God.
Josephine: Then He must be blind.

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