Père Henri: [hearing confession] What else?
Guillaume Blerot: Impure thoughts. The woman who runs the chocolaterie...
Père Henri: Vianne Rocher?
Guillaume Blerot: She suggested I buy chocolate sea shells for the widow Audel. And, well... I guess that got me to thinking, about the widow Audel.
Père Henri: At her age? At *your* age?
Guillaume Blerot: Yes, and yes.

Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?
Ben: Who's Princess Sophia?
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: Little, big, little, big... I don't know... we will find out!
Ben: You can't name my member... Princess Sophia.
Andie: Yes, I can!
Ben: If you are gonna name my... member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!

so, are you a bitch or a butch?

Sam

Johnny: What's your real name, Baby?
Baby: Frances. For the first woman in the cabinet.
[laughs]
Johnny: Frances. That's a real grown up name.

Vianne Rocher: What do you see?
Armande Voizin: Not a damned thing.
Vianne Rocher: Come on, it's a game. What do you see?
Armande Voizin: I see a cranky old woman too tired to play games.
Vianne Rocher: Oh. I've got just the thing for you.

Serge: We are still married, in the eyes of God.
Josephine: Then He must be blind.

You know, I never told you this, but they based a movie on my family. Seriously. Titanic. They changed it a little. There's not boat, nothing sank. But I did pose naked for a portrait once.

Jeff

This is an A and B conversation, so C yourself out of it

Malakai

Derek: Yeah but six months here gotta be better than six up the juvie.
Malakai: Yeah, they got girls in here.

You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.

Melanie Carmichael

If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.

Sarah

Chenille: I saw you workin' it out there tonight, girl!
Sara: Oh, yeah... slammin'!
Chenille: Ah-huh! Later!

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