Maya Hayes: What's a threesome?
Will Hayes: It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.
Maya Hayes: ...Whatever.

Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice.


Marisa: The first time you saw me, I was cleaning your bathroom floor! Only you didn't see me.
Christopher: What was I supposed to do, introduce myself while I'm taking a leak?

April: You and me, it'd kinda be like cats and dogs.
Will Hayes: Oil and water.
April: Sand paper and bare ass.
Will Hayes: That's gross.

Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!


Alex Fletcher: The best time I've had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.
Sophie Fisher: That's wonderfully sensitive... especially from a man who wears such tight pants.
Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.

Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!

I like your roof. It's good that its upstairs.

Alex Fletcher

I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be.


We just had sex in a church! I can't believe we haven't been struck buy lightening yet!

Tess Finnegan

Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.


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