Annie: I don't deserve you.
Walter: Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but... okay.

Jessica: I am telling them you're twelve so you can fly unaccompanied and the stewardess won't carry you around and stuff like that.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you crazy! Who'd believe I'm twelve?
Jessica: If it's in the computer, they believe anything.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you sure?
Jessica: Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Jonah Baldwin: Yea, that's a great idea!

Daniel Connelly: What do women want?
Holly Kennedy: [whispering] We have no idea what we want.
Daniel Connelly: I knew it!

[knowing that Holly is angry with him] Are you going to make me sleep in the tub again?

Gerry Kennedy

Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam Baldwin: The Bermuda Triangle.

Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Becky

Annie Reed: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.

Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.

Annie Reed

Ben: Hey, what's wrong?
Andie: Nothing. It's beautiful.
Ben: Thank you.
Andie: You're beautiful. The game, the whole thing. It's just... I wish I ate meat. Mary had a little lamb, little lamb. You have to take it away before I gag.

Leprechaun: Are you Holly Kennedy?
Holly Kennedy: If I am will you sing at me?
Leprechaun: Yes.
Holly Kennedy: No, I'm not.
Leprechaun: I could get reported!
Holly Kennedy

Gerry Kennedy: Look, Holly, people have babies with no money all the time. and if you're so worried about it
[picks up Holly's boot]
Gerry Kennedy: , why don't you stop buying designer clothes, huh?
Holly Kennedy: I buy EVERYTHING on E-bay! It doesn't count when you're wearing
[grabs her boot out Gerry's hand]
Holly Kennedy: Marc Jacobs from Minneapolis!

I have to crack this guy. I mean this is Defcon 5, and I have to do something truly appalling. It's not funny.

Andie

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