Matt: You can't just turn back time.
Jenna: Why not?

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

Andie: Unattached?
Ben: Currently.
Andie: Likewise.
Ben: Surprising.
Andie: Psycho?
Ben: Rarely, Interested?
Andie: Perhaps.
Ben: Hungry?
Andie: Starving.
Ben: Leaving?
Andie: Now?

This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!

Sarah

Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!

I won't tell your mother about this, right now I'm going to bed. And take that stuff off your face before your mother sees you.

Jake Houseman

Tess Finnegan: [as they sit in an airplane] We're flying! How do you know how to do this?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: Playstation!
Tess Finnegan: Oh god.

Service me bitch

Melissa

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

So, how's my butt?

Sam Baldwin

Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.

Walter

Annie, when you're attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.

Dennis Reed

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