Matt: You can't just turn back time.
Jenna: Why not?

[to Tess while waiting on Finn] Your married a guy for sex and then expected him to be smart.

Tess's Laywer

We just had sex in a church! I can't believe we haven't been struck buy lightening yet!

Tess Finnegan

You can't help who you love, Derek, you're not supposed to.

Chenille

Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!

I won't tell your mother about this, right now I'm going to bed. And take that stuff off your face before your mother sees you.

Jake Houseman

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!

Sarah

Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.

Walter

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

So, how's my butt?

Sam Baldwin

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: We found something. I mean we found something!
[pull out a barrel from a hole dug]
Tess Finnegan: What if it's a body?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: Well he was a midget, with very cheap relatives.
Tess Finnegan: What if it's a head?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: [pauses and turns around] Do you mind?

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