Donna: What are you doing here?
Bill: I'm writing a travel piece.
Harry Bright: I took a spontaneous holiday.
Sam Carmichael: I thought I'd drop in and say hi.

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter

I'll have a Pina Colada, not virgin. Wanna see my ID? Totally have it!

Jenna

Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.

Baby

You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.

Ben

Do you prefer Margaret or "Satan's Mistress"?

Grandma Annie [upon being introduced to Margaret]

Oh, come on, ladies. God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.

Penny

Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.

Katharine

Mayor Kate Hennings: Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something.
Melanie Carmichael: ["decks" Kate] Nobody talks to my Momma like that!
Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!

Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: Tonya! Can you play the balalaika?
David: Can she play? She's an artist!
Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: Who taught you?
David: Nobody taught her!
Gen. Yevgraf Zhivago: Ah... then it's a gift.

This is an A and B conversation, so C yourself out of it

Malakai

They call me Snook, the coochie crook.

Snookie

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