Emma Dinsmore: "Ample bosom"?
Alex: What's wrong with that? It's literary.
Emma Dinsmore: Oh, well, in that case, you forgot the heaving.
Alex: The what?
Emma Dinsmore: In every book I've ever read, whenever there's an ample bosom, there's always heaving.

I'm just a writer, Emma. I don't know what to do to show you how much I love you. I only have words. That's all I have.

Alex Sheldon

He left like a man on a mission, a man on a mission with hot wet balls.


Alex? If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here.

Emma Dinsmore

Emma Dinsmore: Good night.
Alex Sheldon: Can you say good night if you're only sleeping for two hours?
Emma Dinsmore: Good *night*.
Alex Sheldon: Apparently, you can.

There are some things that are nothing more than what they are, they're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time.

Emma Dinsmore

If they're not in agony, then it can't be love!

Emma Dinsmore

Emma Dinsmore: Does the fact that you called seventeen times last night with no response from me send any kind of signal to you?
Alex: Yeah, I mean, I'm not an idiot. I figured you probably wanted to talk to me but that your machine was broken.

He was wracked with confusion. For the first time in his life, he understood the true meaning of the expressions "horns of a dilemma" and "between a rock and a hard place" - although the concept of "paying through the nose" had always tormented him. How does the money get in the nose in the first place? Once in, is it pulled out by hand, or is a sneeze involved? And who would accept such a transaction? Burning questions all, but he had bigger fish to fry.

Adam Shipley

I can't figure out what's worse, having to know every single detail of your desperate love for some other woman, or having to know that you obviously didn't even come close to feeling the same way about me.

Emma Dinsmore

Emma Dinsmore: What's your book about?
Alex: It's the story of a man who's frightened of commitment yet so desperately in love with a woman he's afraid it might kill him. It's a comedy.

I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.

Gerry Kennedy

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