There are some things that are nothing more than what they are, they're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time.

Emma Dinsmore

Emma Dinsmore: Good night.
Alex Sheldon: Can you say good night if you're only sleeping for two hours?
Emma Dinsmore: Good *night*.
Alex Sheldon: Apparently, you can.

Alex? If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here.

Emma Dinsmore

He left like a man on a mission, a man on a mission with hot wet balls.

Alex

I'm just a writer, Emma. I don't know what to do to show you how much I love you. I only have words. That's all I have.

Alex Sheldon

Emma Dinsmore: "Ample bosom"?
Alex: What's wrong with that? It's literary.
Emma Dinsmore: Oh, well, in that case, you forgot the heaving.
Alex: The what?
Emma Dinsmore: In every book I've ever read, whenever there's an ample bosom, there's always heaving.

Tom: Hey, How's the weather in England?
Hannah: I'm in Scotland
Tom: So it's sunny?
Hannah: It's 3 in the morning.
Tom: So it's dark?

Melanie Carmichael: [gets up to leave] Jake, I can't do this.
Jake: [grabs her arm so she faces him] I know.
[they kiss]
Jake: [eventually pulling away] Go home, Mel.

Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?

Jake

Guys just get a stick, lets play some pool, alright? And if ya can't find a cue just pull the one shoved up her ass.

Bobby Ray

Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie Carmichael: Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Melanie Carmichael: Just a guess: The words *joint checking* are flashing in your head right now.

Melanie Carmichael: And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

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