[after revealing a secret to Sarah] You know, I really shouldn't drink this without a mixer.


Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon.


Sarah: Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you.
Beau Burroughs: I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have.

Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.

Beau Burroughs

Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!

Katharine: [in the bathroom, after the door hits him Jeff in the face] Jeff...
Jeff: Yeah?
Katharine: Go play with your dick.

I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.


Annie: I'm the most screwed-up person in the world!
Sarah: You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room!

Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jed's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.

Sam Baldwin: I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven.
[sees Jonah standing in the doorway]
Sam Baldwin: How long have you been standing there?
Jonah Baldwin: Forever.
Sam Baldwin: What did you just hear me say?
Jonah Baldwin: Six girls in college, maybe seven.
Sam Baldwin: Seven... EIGHT! Mary Kelly.

Sam, It's nice to meet you.

Annie Reed

Dennis Reed: It rains nine months a year in Seattle.
Annie Reed: I know!

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