Annie, when you're attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.

Dennis Reed

[looking at a photograph] She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third grade teacher... wait a minute, she IS my third grade teacher!

Sam Baldwin

Annie: I don't deserve you.
Walter: Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but... okay.

So, how's my butt?

Sam Baldwin

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.


When a man is a widower why do we say he was widowed? Why don't we say he was widowered?

Annie Reed

Jessica: I am telling them you're twelve so you can fly unaccompanied and the stewardess won't carry you around and stuff like that.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you crazy! Who'd believe I'm twelve?
Jessica: If it's in the computer, they believe anything.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you sure?
Jessica: Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Jonah Baldwin: Yea, that's a great idea!

Thanks for dinner. I've never seen potatoes cooked like that before.

Jonah Baldwin

Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam Baldwin: The Bermuda Triangle.

Jonah Baldwin: Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
Sam Baldwin: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.

Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.


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