You look like a pumpkin, bitch!

Emma

Oh, I see, young people in love are never hungry.

Danker

Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

Emma (getting into cab): Take me to Adam's house.
Cab Driver: Where's that?
Emma: Where Adam lives.

(Said to Adam): Don't screw it up. Ten years from now you're going to be having sex with your wife and it's going to be in the missionary position and one of you is going to be asleep.

I know what going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.

Adam

Rachel: This is my best friend Dacry, Darcy this is Dex.
Darcy: I know, you are talking about him for nine months.
Darcy: Ask Rachel out on a date.
Rachel: Darcy, we're just friends.
Darcy: Well then, ask me out.

Adam: Cheers. (Taps date's wine glass)
Lucy: Oh thank you.
Adam and Lucy (Go to kiss, bangs head together instead): Oww.
Lucy: I'm so sorry. That was such a fail on my part. Wait, can we, I can do better than that, can we try again?
Adam: Sure. Mulligan. Let's, why don't we... (sit down on couch and start making out)
Lucy: Oh my god, this is happening, this is really happening, you're touching me...
Adam: Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.

(Darcy about to cry...)
Bridal shop lady: She's having her bridal moment...
Darcy: No, i'm fine. I wanna cry on the day so I wanna check my mascaras to make sure it doesn't run..

Dex: Let's get one more drink.
Rachel: You don't want to.
Dex: I want to.

Adam: My dad's dating my ex-girlfriend.
Emma: You told me about it last night.
Adam: Like in a charming way?
Emma: You were naked and crying.

Have you ever gone down a road, far down and wondered, maybe it wasn't what you want?

Dex

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