(Darcy about to cry...)
Bridal shop lady: She's having her bridal moment...
Darcy: No, i'm fine. I wanna cry on the day so I wanna check my mascaras to make sure it doesn't run..

Rachel: This is my best friend Dacry, Darcy this is Dex.
Darcy: I know, you are talking about him for nine months.
Darcy: Ask Rachel out on a date.
Rachel: Darcy, we're just friends.
Darcy: Well then, ask me out.

Adam: Cheers. (Taps date's wine glass)
Lucy: Oh thank you.
Adam and Lucy (Go to kiss, bangs head together instead): Oww.
Lucy: I'm so sorry. That was such a fail on my part. Wait, can we, I can do better than that, can we try again?
Adam: Sure. Mulligan. Let's, why don't we... (sit down on couch and start making out)
Lucy: Oh my god, this is happening, this is really happening, you're touching me...
Adam: Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.

I know what going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.


(Said to Adam): Don't screw it up. Ten years from now you're going to be having sex with your wife and it's going to be in the missionary position and one of you is going to be asleep.

Emma (getting into cab): Take me to Adam's house.
Cab Driver: Where's that?
Emma: Where Adam lives.

Adam: My dad's dating my ex-girlfriend.
Emma: You told me about it last night.
Adam: Like in a charming way?
Emma: You were naked and crying.

Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?
Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty dirty sluts!


You look like a pumpkin, bitch!


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