He's a caca-poopoo


You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!

Detective John Kimble

Kimble, you've wasted years chasing after me, and what has it got you? Huh? Nothing! I'll be out of here in a week, and you'll still be eating takeout food in that dump you live in. Yeah! I know all about you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn't even have a life. My old lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand the sight of you.

Cullen Crisp

I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!

Detective John Kimble

Freeze! Don't you know the building is on fire?

Detective John Kimble

[during Who is Your Daddy game] My daddy works on a computer all day, and is the head of his company and he, um, he has a moustache and a beard, and he-he doesn't have a lot of hair, and cuz-um, since his head is so big, he can't wear any hats.


Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble? Detective
John Kimble: No, I'm not.
Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!


Detective John Kimble

Detective John Kimble: I have a headache. Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor. At all!

My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.


[in unison] Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.

Rina, Tina

We're going to play a wonderful game called... "Who is my daddy and what does he do?"

Detective John Kimble

FREE Movie Newsletter