You got the wrong guy, ace!

Nick

I feel a lot of distance, and I feel far away.

Michael

Hey, Stosh. I said no.

Michael

Your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or in strength. He may even appear in the form of our own troops. But however we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. Now, I'm going to give you THREE SIMPLE rules

General Jack D. Ripper

Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.

Major T. J. "King" Kong

One of you is a very lucky girl. There is an opening for a job away from all this back-breaking work, in my new villa. Umm, which of you has domestic experience? Ja, on second thought, I don't really want someone else's maid. All those annoying habits I'd have to undo.

Amon Goeth

Based on the findings of the report, my conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent for reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious.

Dr. Strangelove

Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

General "Buck" Turgidson

Sir, you can't let him in here. He'll see everything. He'll see the big board!

General "Buck" Turgidson

Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.

General Jack D. Ripper

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, no, I can't say I have.

Do I look all rancid and clotted? You look at me, Jack. Eh? Look, eh? And I drink a lot of water, you know. I'm what you might call a water man, Jack - that's what I am. And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you, that there's nothing wrong with my bodily fluids. Not a thing, Jackie.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake

FREE Movie Newsletter