Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

President Merkin Muffley

Your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or in strength. He may even appear in the form of our own troops. But however we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. Now, I'm going to give you THREE SIMPLE rules

General Jack D. Ripper

Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.

Major T. J. "King" Kong

Hey, Stosh. I said no.


I feel a lot of distance, and I feel far away.


You got the wrong guy, ace!


It's such a grey day.


Michael: What kind of beer would you like?
Linda: What? I don't know. I don't care. Any kind.
Michael: I'll get you a Rolling Rock.
Linda: Okay.
Michael: It's a good beer, it's the best around.


VC guard

Nick: Did you hear about the happy Roman?
Man in Locker Room: Yeah.
Nick: He was "glad he ate her."

I like the trees, you know? I like the way that the trees are on mountains, all the different... the way the trees are.


[after he sights the deer but points the rifle upward and fires so that the deer just looks at him] Okay? Okay?


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