[playing his role as a black slaver to the hilt] You niggas gon' understand something about me! I'm worse than any of these white men here! You get the molasses out your ass, and you keep your goddamn eyeballs off me!


Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse.


George Stark: You're late!
Albert: For what?
George Stark: Fair enough.

Edward: This is my first vagina.
Ruth: You've never seen one!
Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something.
Edward: it's uhh it's it's that, right?
Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here.
Edward: Oh.
Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds.
Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now.

[after shooting someone] people die at the fair.

Gunman at Fair in Final Scene

Clinch: Where did you learn to shoot?
Albert: Your wife.
Edward: Oh, snap!

My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug.


Where are all the white women at?

Gunman at Fair in Final Scene

I'm not the hero. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am.


You know what else can kill you? Doctors!


Ned Logan: You were crazy, Will.
Will Munny: Yeah, no one liked me. Mountain boys all thought I was gonna shoot 'em out of pure meanness.
Ned Logan: Well, like I said, you ain't like that no more.
Will Munny: That's right. I'm just a fella now. I ain't no different than anyone else no more.

Gordon, when you tell this story to your grandkids, you be sure to leave this part out.

Capt. James West

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