Alan Shemper: When I was at camp, my favorite activity was always arts and crafts. Or, as we used to call it: arts and *farts* and crafts. We used to make drawings... cave drawings! Which is my way of saying we were cave men. I went to camp so long ago that I can remember saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" and meaning it! I went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor! And my best friend hadn't fully evolved yet! His name was Ug and he walked on all fours! There were two epidemics when I went to camp: head lice, and the plague - the bubonic plague!


Unrated

FREE Movie Newsletter

Movie:
Wet Hot American Summer
Genre:
Comedy
Character:
Alan Shemper
Related Quotes:
Wet Hot American Summer Quotes, Comedy Quotes, Alan Shemper Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Wet Hot American Summer Quotes

McKinley: Arty, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to take a shower today.
Arty: OK.
McKinley: 'Cause your parents are coming tomorrow, and I don't want to get in trouble.
Arty: Sure.
McKinley: You haven't taken a shower once this summer. Not once in 8 weeks.
Arty: I will.
McKinley: You're covered in dirt. Take a shower.

I went to sleepaway camp so long ago that it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the Stone Age... it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age.

Alan Shemper