Capt. Dickson: I got a big ass raise to babysit you two again.
Jenko: We're going back to high school?
Capt. Dickson: No, you look like you about 50. You going to MC State. You two sons of bitches are going to college!

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Schmidt: Listen, Mr. Walters, I should apologize…
Mr. Walters: For shooting my penis off? Don't sweat it. They gave me a vagina. Hey, guess what. I'm Eric's bitch!
Eric: No, you're not!
Mr. Walters: Yes, I am! You own this ass.

• Permalink: Yes, I am! You own this ass.
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Schmidt: Hey, listen! There's a grenade in my shorts!
Jenko: Is that it?
Schmidt: That's my dick!
Jenko: What about that?
Schmidt: That's my dick also!!

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It’s just drinking games and bonding, why is that so painful for you?

Jenko

• Permalink: It’s just drinking games and bonding, why is that so painful for you?
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