I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

Jane

Can you please find somebody else to be creepy with?

Jane

Jane: I think you should just admit that you're a big softy. That this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded, and mysterious, and sexy.
Kevin: [pause] . Woah, woah, woah. What was the last one?
Jane: What?
Kevin: Did you say sexy?
Jane: What?
Kevin: Do you think I'm sexy?
Jane: No.
Kevin: Its OK if you do.
Jane: I don't.

Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: [takes hand lovingly] Jane, I REALLY need $50, can i have the $50?
Jane: [hesitant] ... No?
Kevin: [laughing] See? That was good!
[grabs Jane's drink]
Kevin: Jane, can I have your drink?
Jane: Sure.

Jane: I never do anything like this.
Kevin: I know.
Jane: You do?
Kevin: Yes, you kept repeating that over and over last night - I never do anything like this... I NEVER do anything like this... I never do ANYTHING like this...

Kevin: What about you? You don't have any needs?
Jane: No. I'm Jesus.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind

Kevin

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

You would rather hang out with Italian models than come with me to my *awesome* work party?

Jane

Jane: Wanna go find the ugliest stuff in the store and register Tess for it?
Kevin: Let's do it.

Jane: [after passing out] Are you a doctor?
Kevin: No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were bugging me.

You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.

Kevin

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27 Dresses Quotes

Kevin: [in Jane's apartment, with her showing off her dresses as she pulls out a loud-looking Gone With The Wind dress] What is that?
Jane: [holding the dress up to herself] Theme wedding!
Kevin: What was the theme? Humiliation?

Jane: I never do anything like this.
Kevin: I know.
Jane: You do?
Kevin: Yes, you kept repeating that over and over last night - I never do anything like this... I NEVER do anything like this... I never do ANYTHING like this...