Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave, it was a dime bag of oregano.
Lieutenant Dave Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron, that's not against the law.
Lieutenant Dave Spradling: I got people to answer to just like you do. I'm gonna charge him.
Kaffee: With what, possession of a condiment?

Kaffee: Did you talk to your friend at the NIS?
Lt. Weinberg: Yeah, he said if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. He said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't even know.
Kaffee: Are you Markinson?
Lt. Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson... that's two.

Wait a minute, Tom, don't get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to traing Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to it that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

Col. Jessep

Oh, now I see what you're saying. It had to be Professor Plum in the Library with the candlestick.

Kaffee

Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them.
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Col. Jessep: You can't handle the truth!

Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I...
Kaffee: [shouting] Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: [shouts] You're goddamn right I did!

I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Col. Jessep

Col. Jessep: There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.

Lt. Weinberg: You've heard her. My daughter said a word. She said, "Pa."
Kaffee: She was pointing to a mailbox, Sam.
Lt. Weinberg: That's right. She pointed to the mailbox as if to say, "Pa, look, a mailbox."

Kaffee: Lt. Kendrick, may I call you John?
Lt. Kendrick: No, you may not.
Kaffee: Have I done something to offend you?
Lt. Kendrick: Not at all, I like all you Navy boys. Every time we gotta go some place to fight, you fellas always give us a ride.

Capt. West: Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine
Capt. West: Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

Kaffee: Excuse me, sorry I'm late.
Capt. Whitaker: That's alright, Danny, I know you don't have a good excuse, so I won't force you to come up with a bad one.
Kaffee: Thank you, sir.
Capt. Whitaker: The first one's for you. Seems you're moving up in the world, you've been requested by Division.
Kaffee: Requested to do what?

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A Few Good Men Quotes

Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I...
Kaffee: [shouting] Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: [shouts] You're goddamn right I did!

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Col. Jessep