Kaffee: I get sick when I fly because I'm afraid of crashing into a large mountain, I don't think Dramamine'll help.
Lt. Weinberg: I've got some oregano, I hear that works pretty good.

Kaffee: Anyway, since we seem to be out of witnesses, I thought I'd drink a little.
Galloway: I still think we can win.
Kaffee: Then maybe you should drink a little.

[interrupts with game-show buzzer sound] eeehhhhh! Time's up! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!"

Kaffee

Oh, I forgot. You were sick the day they taught law at law school.

Kaffee

Kaffee: Lt. Kendrick, may I call you John?
Lt. Kendrick: No, you may not.
Kaffee: Have I done something to offend you?
Lt. Kendrick: Not at all, I like all you Navy boys. Every time we gotta go some place to fight, you fellas always give us a ride.

Capt. West: Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine
Capt. West: Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

Kaffee: Excuse me, sorry I'm late.
Capt. Whitaker: That's alright, Danny, I know you don't have a good excuse, so I won't force you to come up with a bad one.
Kaffee: Thank you, sir.
Capt. Whitaker: The first one's for you. Seems you're moving up in the world, you've been requested by Division.
Kaffee: Requested to do what?

Take caution in your tone, Commander. I'm a fair guy, but this fucking heat is making me absolutely crazy.

Col. Jessep

I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Col. Jessep

We go back a while. We were at the Academy together, we were commissioned together, and did our tours of duty in 'Nam together. But, I've been promoted up the chain with greater speed and success than you have. Now, if that's a source of tension or embarrassment for you, I don't give a shit. We're in the business of saving lives, Lieutenant Colonel Markinson. Don't ever question my orders in the presence of another officer. You're dismissed.

Col. Jessep

Galloway: Are you planning on doing any investigating, or are you just gonna take the guided tour?
Kaffee: I'm pacing myself.

Galloway: I don't think you're fit to handle the defense.
Kaffee: You don't even *know* me. Ordinarily it takes someone *hours* to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense.

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A Few Good Men Quotes

Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I...
Kaffee: [shouting] Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: [shouts] You're goddamn right I did!

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Col. Jessep