Kaffee: Joe, if you speak to a client of mine again without my permission, I'll have you disbarred. Friends?
Galloway: I had authorization.
Kaffee: From who?
Galloway: Downey's only living relative Ginny Miller his aunt on his mother's side.
Kaffee: You got authorization from Aunt Ginny?
Galloway: I gave her a call like you asked. She's a very nice woman we spoke for nearly an hour.
Kaffee: You got authorization from Aunt Ginny.
Galloway: Perfectly within my providence.
Kaffee: Does Aunt Ginny have a barn? We could hold the trial there. I can sew the costumes. Maybe his Uncle Goober could be the judge.

Lt. Weinberg: Cmdr. Galloway, Lt. Kaffee is considered to be the best litigator in our office. He successfully plea bargained 44 cases in 9 months.
Kaffee: One more and I get a set of steak knives.

"I strenuously object?" Is that how it works? Hm? "Objection." "Overruled." "Oh, no, no, no. No, I STRENUOUSLY object." "Oh. Well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider."

Lt. Weinberg

Kaffee: You and Dawson, you both live in the same dreamworld. It doesn't matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove! So please, don't tell me what I know, or don't know; I know the LAW.
Galloway: You know nothing about the law. You're a used-car salesman, Daniel. You're an ambulance chaser with a rank. You're nothing. Live with that.

Kaffee: It sounded like you were asking me out on a date.
Galloway: No, I was just...
Kaffee: I've been asked out on dates before, and that's what it sounded like.
Galloway: Do you like seafood? I know a good seafood place.

You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.

Col. Jessep

Galloway: But my feeling is that if this case is handled in the same fast-food, slick-ass ' Persian Bazaar manner with which you seem to handle everything else, something's gonna get missed. And I wouldn't be doing my job if I allowed Dawson and Downey to spend any more time in prison than absolutely necessary, because their attorney had pre-determined the path of least resistance.
Kaffee: Wow... I'm sexually aroused, Commander

Kaffee: Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat?
Barnes: Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay.
Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.
Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?
Kaffee: No, no problem. I'm just not that crazy about boats, that's all.
Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you're in the Navy for crying out loud.

Kaffee: Did you talk to your friend at the NIS?
Lt. Weinberg: Yeah, he said if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. He said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't even know.
Kaffee: Are you Markinson?
Lt. Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson... that's two.

Walk softly and carry an armored tank division, I always say.

Col. Jessep

Wait a minute, Tom, don't get the President just yet. Maybe we should consider this a second. Dismissed, Tom. Maybe, and I'm just spit balling here, maybe, we have a responsibility as officers to traing Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see to it that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain I remember reading that somewhere once. And now I'm thinking,Col. Markinson, that your suggestion of transferring Santiago, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad!

Col. Jessep

Oh, now I see what you're saying. It had to be Professor Plum in the Library with the candlestick.

Kaffee

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A Few Good Men Quotes

Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I...
Kaffee: [shouting] Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: [shouts] You're goddamn right I did!

[yelling] I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You f--ked with the wrong Marine!

Col. Jessep