Archie: You're going to shoot me?
Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!

I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... It's five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?

Otto: Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? "They were God's second blunder."
Ken: Well, you t-t-t-tell him from me that I kuh-kuh, I kuh-kuh...

Otto: You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction.
Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh
Otto: Shit on you?
Ken: Shove off all the t-time.

Wanda: What are you thinking, Archie?
Archie: I'm just trying to think of one good reason why I should take you to South America with me.
Wanda: How about... because I have the key to the safety deposit box?
[pause]
Archie: That's a...
Wanda, Archie: ...good reason.

I love robbing the English, they're so polite.

Otto

You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, and you dress really interestingly.

Otto

You can stick this marriage right in your bottom.

Wendy

Archie: You are the sexiest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen... in my entire life.
Wanda: Get me my drink.

Wanda: Get the fuck out of here, Otto.
Otto: Relax. I heard moaning; I was worried.

Wendy: Your father has finally gone completely mental!
Otto: So the old lady's gonna m-m-m-meet with an accident eh K-K-K-K-Ken?

Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.

Otto

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A Fish Called Wanda Quotes

Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

Otto: [puts a bag over Archie's head] Hello, Mr. Burglar! Going somewhere? Thought you could rob Mr. Leach, eh? Well, I'm going to teach you a lesson!
[kicks him in the stomach]
Otto: He just happens to be a very good friend of mine!
Archie: Otto! Otto! Otto!
Otto: [comes back with a long-handled pan] And he's going to be very pleased with me to find you here, all tied up and ready for the police!
[knocks Archie out with a pan]
Otto: And don't call me "Otto." To you, I am "Mr...”
[stops, lifts bag, sees it's Archie, screams]
Otto: Oh, my God... Oh... Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[pats Archie's face]
Otto: Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you. How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? Stupid jerk! I mean, what the fuck were you doing *robbing* your *own house?*
[kicks Archie in the stomach]
Otto: You asshole! You stupid, stiff, pompous, English...!
[screams and recoils]
Otto: I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Uh... uh... yeah.
[runs]