Popular Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Quotes
Man: [aggressively] What do you want?
Ace Ventura: HDS, sir, and how are you this afternoon? All righty, then. I have a package for you.
Man: Sounds broken.
Ace Ventura: Most likely, sir. I'll bet it was something nice, though.
Ace Ventura: Excuse me, Ron, I need to use the bathroom.
Ace Ventura: I think it's the pate.
Ronald Camp: Sure, right over there.
Ace Ventura: Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.
Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
Lois Einhorn: Alright, Ventura. Make it quick.
Ace Ventura: I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. It belonged to a 1984 AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino. We're talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy's room. Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter!
Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.
Ace Ventura: Oh yeah? And you're ugly.