You know, gingivitis is the number one reason of all tooth decay.

Take that, you winged spawn of Satan!

Airplane Stewardess: [lisping] Peanuts?
Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.

Pride is an abomination. One must forego the self to obtain total spiritual creaminess, and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation.

If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use *your* body to get to the top. You can't stop me no matter who you are!

There's someone on the wing! Some... THING! I'm sorry, what were you saying?

I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Of course. How sssselfish of me. Let's do all the things that YOU wanna do.

Vincent Cadby: [Ace moans and howls upon entering a room sporting numerous stuffed animal heads] Something wrong, Mr. Ventura?
Ace: Of course not. This is a lovely room of death.

That's a lovely fur you're wearing. Perhaps I could find you some slippers made from the skins of innocent and defenseless baby seals!

That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!

Meeting with sinister types much? A not too much, a much too much.

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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Quotes

I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Ace

That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!

Ace