Ace: Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.

I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!

Airplane Stewardess: [lisping] Peanuts?
Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.

The urine stain on your pants signifies that you are a single-shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.

There's someone on the wing! Some... THING! I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Meeting with sinister types much? A not too much, a much too much.

FREE Movie Newsletter

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Quotes

I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Ace

That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!

Ace