Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Steve McCroskey

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

FREE Movie Newsletter

Airplane! Quotes

Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make out of this?
[Hands him the weather briefing]
Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Captain Oveur