Favorite American Beauty Quotes
This is my first time.Angela Hayes
Carolyn Burnham: My husband, Lester.
Buddy Kane: It's a pleasure.
Lester Burnham: Oh, we've met before, actually. This thing last year, Christmas at the Sheraton...
Buddy Kane: [pretends to remember] Oh yeah, yes...
Lester Burnham: It's okay, I wouldn't remember me either.
Carolyn Burnham: Honey, don't be weird.
Lester Burnham: Don't worry, honey, I won't be weird. I'll be whatever what you want me to be.
[kisses Carolyn wildly]
Lester Burnham: We have a very healthy relationship.
Buddy Kane: I see.
Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham: I wanna look good naked!
I feel like I've been in a coma for the past 20 years. And I'm just now waking up.Lester Burnham
I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong.Jane Burnham
Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.Ricky Fitts
You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!Carolyn Burnham
There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life.Carolyn Burnham
I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. What a lame-o. Someone really should just put him out of his misery.Jane Burnham
Lester Burnham: How's Jane?
Angela Hayes: What do you mean?
Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester Burnham: Good for her.
Angela Hayes: How are you?
Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.