Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.

God bless the Internet.

Finch

Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Kevin: Hey Stifler, how's the pale ale?
Steve Stifler: Fuck you!

Kevin: Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
Jim: Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
Kevin: Guys...
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!
Kevin: GUYS! I'm serious!

She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!

Jim

[on condoms] Well, they're safer than a tube sock...

Jim's Dad

Jessica: You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
Vicky: I've never tried it.
Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse?

I don't want any of you boys thinking, that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you *score*!

Coach Marshall

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

Finch: Did not just take out that chair.
Kevin: Yup, he took out the chair.

FREE Movie Newsletter

American Pie Quotes

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.