Now, do you know what a clitoris is?

Jim's Dad

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.

Michelle

Nadia: [takes off her panties]
Jim: Holy shit.
Finch: HOLY SHIT!
Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member: [together] Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically] Holy shit!

Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.

You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!

Steve Stifler

Steve Stifler: Hey, Kev, seen shit break lately?
Kevin: Why? What did you do to him?
Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Jim: Sherman? The Sherminator?

I believe "shaved" is the expression.

Nadia

God bless the Internet.

Finch

I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady.

Chuck Sherman

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!

Steve Stifler

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American Pie Quotes

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.