She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!

Steve Stifler

I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.

Jim

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

Jim

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American Pie Quotes

Michelle: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle.

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful!
College Girl: [laughs]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Friends call me Nova. As in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.