Chuck: Here's my phone number.
Dave Buznik: "You're gonna die, bitch."
Chuck: Oh, sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera.

Dave Buznik: I'm sorry I was so rude before... but... it's difficult for me... to... express myself... when I am on the verge of... exploding in my pants.
Kendra: You are too cute.
Dave Buznik: Get the fuck out of here.

I think Eskimos are smug.

Chuck

Dr. Buddy Rydell: [throws a plate of eggs] I SAID OVER EASY! [calmly] Now why did I do that?
Dave Buznik: Because I refused to spoon with you last night?

Jibber jabber jibber jabbering, mumbo jumbo, denial, key-key-key key-key-key!

Dr. Buddy Rydell

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier.
Dave Buznik: No, no, no. I'm the guy in the frozen food section diallin' 911. I swear.

Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it.

Dr. Buddy Rydell

What, do you think you're better than me, 'cause you got both your nuts?

Chuck

Linda: How 'bout a kiss?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'd love a kiss.
Dave Buznik: I think she talkin' to me. And, uh, I think I can handle it.

Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards.

Dr. Buddy Rydell

Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?

Dave Buznik

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Uh, Nate?
Nate: Yes, Mr. Rydell?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: I thought we agreed not to listen to games while in sessions.
Nate: Oh, it's perfectely fine Mr. Rydell. I got it under control. See? Iverson just missed the shot, the Sixers lose. Who cares ... THE ANGER SHARKS ARE SWIMMING MY HEAD. YOU GOTTA DUNK THAT SHIT! YOU GOTTA DUNK THAT SHIT!

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Anger Management Quotes

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier.
Dave Buznik: No, no, no. I'm the guy in the frozen food section diallin' 911. I swear.

Chuck: Here's my phone number.
Dave Buznik: "You're gonna die, bitch."
Chuck: Oh, sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera.