Dean Vernon Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Vernon Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Vernon Wormer: Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.

Otter: Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major league yabbos.
Boon: Beverly!
Otter: No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon: Marlene! Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You're gonna hump her brains out, aren't you?
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'.

Bluto

Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.

Otter: Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.
Flounder: Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter: It means you have to drive us to the Food King.

Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

Doug Neidermeyer: How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

Pinto: I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.

Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.

Boon

Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.

Jennings

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Animal House Quotes

Larry's evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.

You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Otter