Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy Pepperidge: Go away!
Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy Pepperidge: Do I have to leave?
Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?

Boon: I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.
Pinto: Look, you don't have to...
Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy: You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon: Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Pinto: Hey!
Boon: What'd I say?

Katy: Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon: What do you mean?
Katy: I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon: No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.

Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.
Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're 21 years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.
Boon: Want me to go alone?
Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon: It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

Bluto

Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder: Will that work?
Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.

Hoover: Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.
Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.
Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.
Otter, Boon: Like Fred.

You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.

Marion Wormer

Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
Boon: How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings: Four and a half years.
Pinto: It must be very good.
Jennings: It's a piece of shit.

Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

Otter: Ah, she broke our date.
Boon: Washing her hair?
Otter: Dead mother.

I hate those guys.

Dean Vernon Wormer

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Animal House Quotes

Larry's evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.

You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Otter