Popular Apollo 13 Quotes
Patty: How do you go to the bathroom in space?
Jim Lovell: Well, um... I tell you it's a very complicated procedure that involves cranking down the window and looking for a gas station.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Houston, we are ready for the beginning of PTC, and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jack and I will eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey, I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.
Reporter: So... the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Only if it's a Friday, Phil.
Reporter: Apollo 13 - lifting off at 1300 hours and 13 minutes, and, entering the moon's gravity on April 13th.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Ken Mattingly has been doing some... scientific experiments regarding that very phenomenon, haven't you?
Ken Mattingly: Well, uh, yes, well I uh, had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, didn't seem to be a problem.
Fred Haise, Sr.: We also consider a real helpful letter we got from a fellow who said we ought to take a pig up with us for good luck.
Jack Swigert: Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
Ken Mattingly: I'll bet you do.
Gentlemen, it's been a privilege flying with you.
Jim Lovell
Lunar module has just become a lifeboat.
Gene Kranz
Ken Mattingly: 13, this is Houston, do you read?
Jim Lovell: Roger that, Ken. Are the flowers blooming in Houston?
Ken Mattingly: That's a negative, Jim. I do not have the measles.
Fred Haise: It hurts when I urinate.
Jim Lovell: Well, you're not getting enough water.
Fred Haise: No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Jim Lovell: Well, that'd be a hot one at the debriefing for the flight surgeons... Another first for America's spacemen.
Jim Lovell: Freddo, how long does it take to power up the LEM?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Three hours by the checklist.
Jim Lovell: We don't have that much time.
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute... all I did was stir those tanks...
Fred Haise, Sr.: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
Fred Haise, Sr.: You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
Jim Lovell: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell HIM that.
Fred Haise, Sr.: I know why my numbers were wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Jack Swigert: Maybe I should just hold my breath.
Congressman: Now Jim, people in my state keep asking why we're continuing to fund this program now that we've beaten the Russians to the Moon.
Jim Lovell: Imagine if Christopher Columbus had come back from the New World and no one returned in his footsteps.
