A.J.: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.

I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day "Armageddon" - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and the suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you.

President

Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?

Chick

You want to compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, ok?

Rockhound

You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?

Rockhound

Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.

Chick

Truman: So you drill, drop the nuke, and leave. Here's the key: you're going to remote-detonate the nuke... before the asteroid passes this plane,
[Quincy shows a video of the asteroid]
Truman: Zero Barrier. If you do that, the fragments of the asteroid will be deflected enough to pass right by us. If the bomb explodes after Zero Barrier,
[the video of the asteroid fragments hitting the Earth is displayed]
Truman: game's over.

You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg.

A.J.

I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are... wrong. I'mright.

Ronald Quincy

Don't touch my uncle! He is the genius of my family. He used to make the tip of the bomb, you know? That finds New York or Washington?

Lev Andropov

The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.

General Kimsey

Harry Stamper: Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking.
Max: I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya.

Armageddon comes from Michael Bay and features an all-star cast led by Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis.

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Armageddon Quotes

You want to compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, ok?

Rockhound

A.J.: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.