Harry Stamper: How long've you worked for me?
A.J.: Five - wonderful - years.
Harry Stamper: In five years you have never apologized to me this quickly. Something's going on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.

F.B.I. Agent: Sir, we have a national security matter.
Rockhound: Good for you.

Grace Stamper: Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice - my choice and not yours.
Harry Stamper: He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. That's not a choice, that's a lack of options.

Harry Stamper: The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no?
Chick: 20 years, I've never turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there.

Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I was coming home. Now I don't know WHAT you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!

Harry Stamper

Karl: Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person who finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes, yes that's right, that's right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.

Wow. Got a great view of the Earth from here. Too bad we'll never set foot on her again.

Rockhound

Chick: I've never told anyone this before, but I hate flying. So it would be an awful shame to die now.
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Chick: Boy, that's bad.

I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.

Grace Stamper

Harry Stamper: Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking.
Max: I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya.

Harry Stamper: For god's sakes think about what you're doin'. Why are you listening to someone that's a hundred thousand miles away? No one down there can help us and if we don't get this job done, then everybody's gone.
Chick: forty two seconds
Harry Stamper: I have been drilling holes in the earth for thirty years. And I have never, *never* missed a depth that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one. I will make 800 feet.
Colonel William Sharp: You swear on your daughter's life. On my family's that you can hit that mark
Harry Stamper: I will make 800 feet. I swear to God I will.
Colonel William Sharp: Then let's turn this bomb off

Grace Stamper: First time I got my period, Rock had to take me to Tai-Pei for Tampax. Then he had to show me how to use them.
[Off Harry's stern look]
Rockhound: I told her how to use them. I didn't show her, Harry.

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Armageddon Quotes

You want to compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, ok?

Rockhound

A.J.: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.