Don't be like me. Don't you be like me!

Melvin Udall

How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?

Melvin Udall

I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!

Melvin Udall

People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.

Melvin Udall

Carol Connelly: Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.
Melvin Udall: Maybe we could live *without* the wisecracks.
Carol Connelly: Maybe we could.

If you stare at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.

Simon Bishop

The best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself.

Simon Bishop

Melvin Udall: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were fifty.
Carol Connelly: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were kind, so so much for eyes.

Carol Connelly: Melvin, I'd rather not.
Melvin Udall: What does that got to do with it?
Carol Connelly: Funny, I thought it was a strong point.

Melvin Udall: I can't get back to my old life. She's evicted me from my life!
Simon Bishop: Did you really like it all that much?

To hell with sex! It was better than sex! We held each other! What I needed, he gave me great.

Carol Connelly

You're a disgrace to depression.

Melvin Udall

FREE Movie Newsletter

As Good As It Gets Quotes

Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City "Sailor wanna hump-hump" bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.

Melvin Udall

I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!

Melvin Udall