Young Dr. Evil: Would it kill you to put on some clothes? Honestly it's like living with frickin Sasquatch.
Young Austin Powers: Hey, have you seen my Balzac?
Young Dr. Evil: I'm looking at your Balzac right now.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Nigel Powers

Oops. I did it again, baby.

Oh great. Isn't this magical?

Fat Bastard

Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?

Dr. Evil

I'm from Holland. Isn't that vierd?

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Austin Powers in Goldmember Quotes

Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H. [Scott snickers] What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.

Goldmember: Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.
Dr. Evil: How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard?