It's freedom, baby, yeah!

There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.

Dr. Evil

Austin Powers: What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two?
Number Two: That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.

Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming.

Austin Powers: Come again?
Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina.
Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years we got a little... impatient. Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
[Scott enters]
Dr. Evil: Hello Scott.
Scott Evil: Hi.
Dr. Evil: I'm your father. Dr Evil.
Scott Evil: I haven't seen you my whole life and now you just show up and *expect* a relationship? I hate you. What?
Dr. Evil: Can I have a hug?
Scott Evil: No.
Dr. Evil: Give me a hug.
Scott Evil: No way.

Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.

Austin Powers: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Basil Exposition: The shouting is a temporary side-effect of the unfreezing.
Austin Powers: Yes... I'm having difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

I hereby demand the sum... OF ONE ... MILLION ... DOLLARS!

Dr. Evil

Alotta Fagina: How dare you break wind before me.
Austin Powers: I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn.

Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!

Dr. Evil: Son, wouldn't you like to see what daddy does for a living?
Scott Evil: Blow me.
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Show me.

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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Quotes

Commander Gilmour: Oh my God, he's back.
Johnson Ritter: In many ways, Bob's Big Boy never left, sir. He's always offered the same high quality meals at competitive prices.

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.