Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.

Fat Bastard: First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER? I've got a turtle-head poking out.
Dr. Evil: Charming.
Fat Bastard: I'm not kiddin'. I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it's SQUIDGY. Christ, I'm gettin' all emotional from it, ya know?

Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty.

Dr. Evil

Austin: Basil, this coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good, then it's not just me.

That's for calling me crap you fatty!

Felicity Shagwell

Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?
Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.

Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions.
Dr. Evil: Why make a trillion when we could make... billions?
Scott: A trillion's more than a billion, numb nuts.

Dr. Evil: [deep voice] Austin, I'm your father.
Austin: Really?
Dr. Evil: No, not really. I can't back that up.
Austin: Right. Idiot, yes.

Austin: Hello, Mummy. Can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars. Don't smack my bottom, Mummy...
Felicity Shagwell: Austin?
Austin: Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows.

Austin: [a guard falls into the lava] What a... burn? [laughs]
That sort of thing could get a man... fired? [laughs] I think he was... hot... for... you? [laughs]
Felicity Shagwell: That's enough.
Austin: Yeah.

[to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.

Fat Bastard

Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don't know what I would do. [pauses] I'd probably move on and get another clone but there would be a 15 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

Dr. Evil

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Quotes

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

Fat Bastard

[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.

Fat Bastard