Shut up, you bastard... who is fat...

[to Felicity Shagwell] Would you like to have another go? 'Cause once you've had fat, you never go back.

Fat Bastard

Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty.

Dr. Evil

That's for calling me crap you fatty!

Felicity Shagwell

Mini Me? Mini Me? For God's sake would somone put a fricken bell on him or something.

Dr. Evil

You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other.

Jerry Springer

Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in 1967 and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis, Dr. Evil. After foiling his archenemy's plan to send a nuclear warhead to the center of the earth, Austin banished Dr. Evil to the cold recesses of space and settled down with his new wife, Vanessa, to live happily ever after. Or so he thought...

Narrator

Austin: Hello, Mummy. Can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars. Don't smack my bottom, Mummy...
Felicity Shagwell: Austin?
Austin: Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows.

Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls. [looking up from game] What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

Austin: [a guard falls into the lava] What a... burn? [laughs]
That sort of thing could get a man... fired? [laughs] I think he was... hot... for... you? [laughs]
Felicity Shagwell: That's enough.
Austin: Yeah.

Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay?

Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing.

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Quotes

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

Fat Bastard

[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.

Fat Bastard