Caroline: [holding her son's dirty hand] Is this chocolate or poop? Is this chocolate or poop?!
Caroline: [licks son's hand and smiles] It's chocolate!
Kate Holbrook: What if that had been poop?!

Can I just spray a little pam down there right before the baby comes out?

Angie Ostrowiski

Bitch, I don't know your life!

Angie Ostrowiski

Congratulations, Kate. I want to reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.

Barry

[as she enters the hospital, about to go into labor] It feels like I'm shitting a knife!

Angie Ostrowiski

Kate Holbrook: I overreacted earlier. I'm sorry...
[Kate exits]
Angie Ostrowiski: I'm sorry I farted into your purse...

[giggling] My avitar's dressed like a hooker!

Kate Holbrook

Carl: My first thought about Angie carrying someone else's baby? I thought...My wife is gonna have sex with somebody else's husband to do this? --
Angie Ostrowiski: -- Out of the question --
Carl: -- that's gonna cost extr -- out of the question, right. Out of the question.

Kate Holbrook: What you eat, the baby eats. What you listen to, the baby listens to.
Oscar: If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin' "Ennngghhh!"

Chaffee Bicknell: Our surrogacy fee is $100,000.
Angie Ostrowiski: It costs more to have someone born than to have someone killed!
Chaffee Bicknell: It takes longer.

Angie Ostrowiski: [Kate is vogueing on the dance floor] Stop framing your face!
Kate Holbrook: I think it's good!
Angie Ostrowiski: It's not.

Angie Ostrowiski: Is that what you're wearing?
Kate Holbrook: We *are* going to a nightclub.

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Baby Mama Quotes

Caroline: [holding her son's dirty hand] Is this chocolate or poop? Is this chocolate or poop?!
Caroline: [licks son's hand and smiles] It's chocolate!
Kate Holbrook: What if that had been poop?!

[as she enters the hospital, about to go into labor] It feels like I'm shitting a knife!

Angie Ostrowiski