The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.

Henchman: Penguin... killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little ah...
[Penguin grabs an umbrella and shoots Henchman dead]
The Penguin: No! It's a lot!
[Kicks Henchman into the water]

The Penguin: You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You could be right.

Selina Kyle: A kiss under the mistle toe... a mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Bruce Wayne: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.
[silence as they realize each other's identities]
Selina Kyle: Oh, God... does this mean we have to start fighting now?
Bruce Wayne: Let's go outside.

Selina Kyle: Did somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day!
Batman: Eat floor.
[Throws Catwoman down]
Batman: High fiber.

Charles 'Chip' Shreck: Dad, you buy that "blurry" business?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me, Chip, except your late mother. Who'd have thought Selina had a brain to damage. Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

Guard 2: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home is less than three-hundred!
Catwoman: You're overpaid.

Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Was.
[shoots Batman]

Commissioner Gordon: Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back.
Batman: We'll see.

Selina Kyle: Wow, THE Batman - or is it just "Batman"? It's your choice, of course!
[Batman walks away]
Selina Kyle: Well, that was brief. Just like all the men in my life.

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Batman Returns Quotes

The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.

Selina Kyle: Wow, THE Batman - or is it just "Batman"? It's your choice, of course!
[Batman walks away]
Selina Kyle: Well, that was brief. Just like all the men in my life.