I love your eyes. I even love... your mother.

Johnny

Johnny: I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.
Milly: [shocked] I do? Cause sometimes I feel like nobody understands me. But...

Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you.

Johnny

Milly: See that's the fun of the Tuna Pasta Toss. Because it's fun and it's easy. And when you're cooking for one, it's really important to look forward to the end result. You know?
Johnny: What if you want to make it for two?
Milly: It's a little bit more complicated, but I think it can be done. Um... I see some of you have already gone ahead and added your carrots and your pickled relish and remember that some people like dill.

Jason: I knew I had you the day I met you.
Milly: How could you know something like that?
Jason: Because you were so nervous you laughed like a hyena, in that beautiful polka-dot dress of yours.
Milly: Really? I'll tell you one thing though. You did not have me the moment that we met because I'm not even sure I like the fact that your staff talked about you behind your back at the dessert table. And excuse me but truth be told I didn't like anything that you ordered for me on our first date except the calamari. And ok fine, yes, it was nice to not have to think for a change. But who wants someone that doesn't think? Look! And sometimes you laugh when I cry, and you say "ha" when I make perfect sense. And never ever in my life have I burnt a chocolate suffle until now, and that in and of itself... oh my god. Should have told me I don't feel like myself around you. And I would have decided that. A long time ago if it weren't for my mother. Because who wants someone who laughs like a hyena in a polka dot dress that my mother made me buy.
Jason: I love that dress.
Milly: Take her out.

Milly: You and my mom have been totally scheming. And and and and now I know exactly why she pushed me on you because she was voting for you. She found you.
Jason: Yeah but that doesn't take anything away from us. What matters is that we did meet, and how good this is between us. And the truth of that...
Milly: The truth. Where is the truth? Where is the truth, because you've been living a lie and I've been lying to you Jason.
Jason: Yeah but that doesn't change anything.

I think he has a hot dog... with a bun!

Milly

Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere, so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.

Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you oughta button these buttons, you look like you're asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!

Daphne Wilder: Well, who would you choose for my daughter?
Johnny: Me.
Daphne Wilder: What? No way!
Johnny: Why not?
Daphne Wilder: Oh, please. I am not setting my daughter up with an attractive, charming musician who will just break her heart.
Johnny: Wow. Thank you for turning me into a societal cliché.

Daphne Wilder: Milly, honey, why are you so quiet?
Mae: 'Cause she's doing the oompa-loompa with two guys, mom.

Daphne Wilder: What? Three times? Is that... is that normal?
Mae: Oh, come on. We all know I hold the record in this family.

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Because I Said So Quotes

Daphne Wilder: I say marriage, you say...
Transvestite: Vera Wang.

[in Korean] Oy vey. Mom's ass is so tight, it's vacuum sealed.

Sung Mi