I'll show you how to chug a beer, mother fucker!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Why don't we get you out those wet clothes, and into a dry martini.

Barry Badrinath

Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!

Otto

Jan Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?
Todd Wolfhouse: This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore.
Jan Wolfhouse: [thinks about it for a second, then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse

Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.

I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.

Great Gam Gam

Let's get sour on some Krauts!

Gil

Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.
Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on meine bitch.

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Beerfest Quotes

Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?
Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.

I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!

Barry Badrinath